For coming to this page, you will now be punnished.

Don't worry, these are the puns I've said in various places that I remembered to actually write down.

Paragraph's for fun,
but it's indeed not a pun.
It's just a haiku.

Be careful scrolling, as someone might make pun of you for it!

After going to a doctor for shoulder pain, the doctor kept on insisting the pain is because I dislocated it. I said "How can that be? I know I can locate my shoulder just fine. It's right here-ow."

Telling Italian speakers about Richard Stallman's suggestions for using genderless pronouns didn't work out so well, after the meaning for "perse" got lost. Latin speakers found the word by itself to not be as confusing.

There is a posted notice that I read earlier today that said "No puns allowed". It didn't say anything about joking, satirical novel and short story writing, or thinking of silly sketches yet, so it must be a sign of the times.

I was at a local liquor store that is strict about ID checking, and the cashier asked me "can I see your card?" I responded: "No thanks, I'll be paying with cash."

It's dangerous to consume digital content, especially if you byte off more than you can chew.

Buying a portable Bluetooth speaker and setting it to "pair" mode in a city center makes it a public speaker.

The web just seemed less interconnected after the start of the Hypotext Markup Language.

Using beats by Landfill for profit without paying makes you guilty of a Sybyrcrime.

I don't know of any cool lighting designs. The bulbs keep getting warm while in use.

When Ocey was finished speaking, someone then said "I agree with Ocelot." I asked "as opposed to only a little?"

Coming up with a pun, with no success, till your head hurts feels like a form of punnishment I wouldn't wish on even my worst enemies.

Few people at the University of Akron know whether "ROOTONES" is the name of an A Capella group or a GNU/Linux sysadmins' club.

Some privacy activists have taken to unplugging any screens from computers before using them to avoid monitoring.

The puns on this page used to be wrapped in <ul></ul> tags, but when I switched to paragraphs so the document would appear nicer on more browsers, they all got delisted.

Printing the plans.odt file and wrapping the papers in a sheet of aluminum was not a good idea, since I ended up just foiling my plans.

Do you climb out of the pit, or wait here for some software to appear? There may be some perls for those who wait to c what happens, lest some rusty and/or cloudy objects go down and cut you instead.

After instructing a client to connect their computer to the Eduroam Wi-Fi network, perse asked "but... shouldn't it be named for Akron?"

Anton McClure / asm@sdf.org