~~~ \m/ SDF RULEZ! \m/ ~~~

Bicameral legislature, self-evident truths, neo-mausoleum architecture, atulent filibustering, pork barreling, ineffective protectionist tariffs, tobacco subsidies, Prohibition, paternalistic socialism, benign neglect, incomprehensible policies, doc-trinaire intransigence, language obfuscation, currency debauchery, unbacked fractional reserve notes, hyper-elastic debt ceilings, debt monetization, confiscatory taxes, perverse Byzantine lopsided tax codes, 215 massive private gain at public expense, laissez-faire mercantilism, lucrative patronage, cozy cronyism, bottomless corruption, strangulating bureaucracy, comical ineptness, ippant insouciance, sullen insubordination, terminal bloat, creeping disintermediation, staggering trade deficits, voodoo economics, dollar bashing, intrusive citizen surveillance, satellite reconnaissance, calculated disinformation, shameless media hype, patriotic symbol manipulation, slush fund diversion, Senate select sub-committee investigations, lawyer-mongering, plea bargaining, subpoena quashing, pathological perjury, moral turpitude, ineffectual Presidential task forces, token civilian control of the military, forced conscription, sub-atomic tinkering, pitiful giantism, titillating indiscretion, stupefying horror, intermittent assassinations, lugubrious motorcades, virulent anti-communism, unenforceable loyalty oaths, manifest destiny, eminent domain, gunboat diplomacy, expeditionary brigades, insurrection squashing, gratuitous violence, gun-running, strategic incursions, surgical strikes, rural pacification, economic destabilization, blundering interdictions, horribly botched bizarre clandestine operations, official denial, mock bewilderment, outrageous interminable scandals, internecine power struggles, malignant brain tumors, bungled suicide attempts, affable doltishness, ludicrous gaffes, howlers in elementary logic, preadolescent fantasies, weepy nostalgia, technology worship, doomsday scenarios, emergency broadcast systems, self-righteous posturing, religious zealotry, institutionalized gibberish, stratospheric hyperbole, vituperative castigation, fulminating rhetoric, incoherent ranting, thundering bombast, pseudo-Evangelical blather, hair-splitting equivocation, bald-faced lying, wretched excess, moon golf, industrial disease, and bankruptcy are trademarks of the United States Government, 1913 - 2100. All rights reserved, or you'll hear from this week's Attorney General, who'll send the Feds down to slap the cuffs on you right in your office, deliberately embarrassing you in front of your own staff, just like on Wall Street. No fooling.

(Portions of this document may be subject to patents issued or pending which are the property of Mortal Sins Inc, a division of the International Communist Conspiracy)