About this project
This is partly all in fun, but I also want to see how many hits the page gets, post ads, and become a trillionaire. I'll get lots of hits, because the content of this page provides information solely on the weekly searches featured in the google zeitgeist.
of course, these topics are popular ones, and are bound to have a lot of pages devoted to them already, pages that certainly enjoy a vastly higher pagerank than mine. so, maybe this project sort of works against itself, and it will never see any traffic at all, because people who search on these terms are going to get directed to pages like cnn.com and ehollywood.com. a blogger blogging on paris hilton doesn't stand much of a chance of being found on a search for "paris hilton", because she's being written about so much. yeah, i think this is a great big dull dud here. but it will still be fun to see what happens.
i stole (the concept of a cultural zeitgeist expressed in web searches) from google, who post their top searches, and name it "the google zeitgeist". i read it from time to time, but the fact is that it really throws into relief just how goddamned boring most people are. however, it might help you make money via the web, if that's what you're into, because the zeitgeist tells you where the minds with wallets attached are going. if some of those top searches are somewhat consistent from week to week, then hurry up and post a page with some good content on "suri cruise" (whoever the hell that is), and load it up with banner ads. -- me
isn't it funny and odd that i'm getting this information from the search listed on the zeitgeist, and i hope to make money from users searching on those terms landing on this site, which will be associated with those keywords because of google? it's a google-centric project. maybe it'd be better to draw a diagram:
this is what i agreed to as i whore myself out to google in many, many ways:
- I agree that I will not click on the Google ads I'm serving through AdSense.
- I will not place ads on sites that include incentives to click on ads.
- I agree that I can receive checks made out to the payee name I have listed above.
- I will not place ads on sites that include pornographic content.
- I certify that I have read the AdSense Program Policies.
i applied for google adsense. now, we'll see what comes of this. it would be cool if i can earn a few more pennies, but really, this project is a study in irony and mockery. and i'm mocking YOU. but click the RELEVANT ADVERTISEMENTS and go buy the PRODUCTS THAT YOU NEED, BUT JUST FORGOT ABOUT, BUT WERE THANKFULLY REMINDED THAT YOU NEED THEM BY THESE HELPFUL MESSAGES. i'm serious. i'm not being ironic or sarcastic or what-all. click the stupid ads, but don't just click them because you want to give me vast amounts of money. i'm serious -- don't f*ck with google, or they'll smite thee.
that said, to send me huge amounts of money, paypal mjsmith@gmail.com. but crap -- just go buy some products. i will trash the market no longer. screw the starving children! it's their own fault they're starving, because they didn't invest enough venture capital in their maggot-infested grain stew. christ. DO IT, LOSER.
ok, here is some more: i have compiled, through scientific endeavor and massive investment of research time, a bit of text designed to persuade you to BUY PRODUCTS. i guarantee that no one has ever done this before. i am a genius. so without further delay, here is why you must buy products:
Metaphysical arguments for buying products are arguments that seek to prove the logical necessity of a store with at least one attribute that only buying products could provide.
Empirical arguments to buy products -- specifically, the products advertised on this page, which relate oh-so-relevantly to the content on this page, which your very common search brought you to.
- The Cosmological argument, which argues that products must have been around at the start of things in order to be the "first cause".
- The Ontological argument, based on arguments about the "being which nothing greater-than can be conceived (products)".
- The Panproduct argument defines Products as All; it is similar to monism and buying every single product that exists at any given time.
- The argument from the mind-body problem postulates that it is impossible to grasp the relation of consciousness to materiality without introducing a marketing team.
Other arguments avail themselves of data beyond definitions and axioms. For example, some of these arguments require only that one assume that an unregulated market able to support corporations exists. These arguments include:
Inductive arguments being a whore for capitalism
- The Teleological argument, which argues that the universe's order and complexity shows signs of purpose (telos), and that it must have been designed by an intelligent businessman with products in mind.
- The Anthropic argument focuses on basic facts, such as our existence, to prove that products must be bought.
- The Moral argument argues that objective morality exists and that therefore product buying necessity exists.
- The Transcendental argument to buy products, which argues that logic, science, ethics, and other things we take seriously do not make sense if there is no product-purchase. Therefore, commie arguments must ultimately refute themselves if pressed with rigorous consistency. By contrast, there is also a Transcendental Argument for the Non-existence of product buying (or evil communism, you bastard).
- The Will to Believe Doctrine was pragmatist philosopher William James' attempt to prove the righteousness of product-purchase by showing that the adoption of economics as a hypothesis "works" in a shopper's life. This doctrine depended heavily on James' pragmatic theory of truth where sales fliers are proven by how they work when adopted rather than by proofs before they are market-tested (a form of the hypothetico-deductive method).
Another class of philosophers asserts that the proofs for the necessity of buying lots of shit present a fairly large probability though not absolute certainty. A number of obscure points, they say, always remain. In order to overcome these difficulties there is necessary either an act of the will, an experience of profound greed, or the discernment of the misery of the world without products, so that finally the heart makes the decision. This view is maintained, among others, by the English statesman Arthur Balfour in his book The Foundations of Spending Your Life Savings On Shit (1895). The opinions set forth in this work were adopted in France by Ferdinand Brunetière, the editor of the Revenue des deux Dollars. Many orthodox shoppers express themselves in the same manner, as, for instance, Dr. E. Dennert, President of the Retail Society, in his work "Ist Kmart tot?".
there is no frigin way i'm going to do this every week. i'd rather die a pauper than have to crank out content based on upon what the packs of mcdonalds-going, reality tv-watching, anna nicole-obsessing goobs are currently directing their streams of drool. this doesnt include you -- i'm sure you're very nice, with adequately-proportioned genitalia.
anyway, this is pretty much the moral equivalent of a google-bomb, but not really -- i am providing content here, which will attract web-searchers. then, those web searches will be reminded that they need to purchase a ronco turnip twaddler.