THIS ABOUT MYSELF I AM PRETTY SURE ABOUT

I don't like it when others have control over me.

I become suspicious when everyone agrees on something.

I default to assuming that most disagreements can be resolved.

I don't like staying in the same place in my life.

I sometimes have a need to betray, to tease, to provoke, to test if
people will forgive me.

My fascination with language stems from a want to be understood and
the fear of having been misunderstood.

I am the kind of person who would like to die on a hill.

I like telling an interesting story, if possible entertaining as
well.

I am entirely aware that I am a contradictory person.  As I am not
denying this, I might be less contradictory than most other people.

I am usually fascinated by the forgotten, the underdog, the 2nd place,
the unpopular and underappriciated: Reverse Polish Notation
calculators, Go, Talking Heads, Esperanto, etc.

I know that most people do not interest me.  That is not to say that
I don't think they have an interesting story, just that the themes
of their life do not speak to me.  I know that this is wrong.

As I always say, I hate repeating myself.

I am attracted to systems that promise a deeper understanding of
topics, possibly granting insights into connections that one would
otherwise not recognize.

Frequently I find my reactions to events or experiences numb.  I've
seen death and the wonders of the world, but they appear
"syntactic", as if I cannot immerse them.  If I do respond, I think
to myself that I am just performing.

I have had a few experiences that came close to being ecstatic
(listening to "Floral Shoppe" on the day that Castro died, stacking
tables without any protective precautions), but these are rare.  I
am intrigued by mystical traditions that claim access to the
ineffable.

If I am lonely, I don't think it is the kind of loneliness that is
due to an absence of people, but the inherent distance I perceive
between myself and others (especially those that also feel like
this).

I would like to learn how to waltz.  More than that, I would want to
waltz as a side-character in a period drama from the 19th century.

I have a strong dislike of advertisement.  Ideally, I would want that
it would only be acceptable for others to speak in positive terms of
oneself, while the person speaking it taken to be inherently too
biased to be reliable in this matter.  For myself, I enjoy the thought
of slowly being discovered.  Ideally in retrospect.

I think I define my essence in negative terms, that is to say that I
do not attribute any positive properties to myself.