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19 jun 06 "wtf? what is Katy? SLUT WHORE" kids today and their language. sort of funny that the reader asked "what is katy?" instead of "who is katy?", even though it's a proper name. i think perhaps reader-x was confused by "katy lives here" (how can a person live on a website?). literalists -- we mustn't leave them the world's reigns. katy, as she's said to live here on the index page of this website, is an entity representing and containing the ghost of katy, my long haired miniature dachshund who died not all that long ago. i believe it was in january of 2004, although i'd have to check. i made the website for my mom and me, and to present katy's memory to the world at large. it was not only a healing, health, and cathartic exercise, but is a possibly one-of-a-kind example of my totally non-cynical writing, which if i hadn't have made that site, probably never would have surfaced. it'a well-made website, i think. i show it to people along with candocanal.org, mywebpages.comcast.net/agor and glutenfreedesserts.org if they want an example of my web design, which, upon a moment of consideration, is sort of all the same (boxes and single-pixel lines, the verdana font, hovering backround colors on links, and html colors that match the ones in embedded photos). i mean...the sites aren't identical or anything, but there are definitely some similarities. i should clarify what i mean by "ghost". i like to say that ghosts are the lingering memories, often so powerful that we "see" the dead going about their routine, coming through doors, etc -- things they used to do all the time -- just because we're so used to seeing them; they're burned into our memories, and only fade after a long while, if they ever fade. i don't mean that there are any shimmering spectral images or anything like that, but only that we so expect to see that person that, for an instant, our minds create the mental image, even if our eyes don't register it. it's a bit like the distinction between actually hearing, with the ear drum, stirrup, hammer, anvil and auditory nerve, voices, and imagining the voice in your mind, albeit somewhat inrusively, triggered by a specific memory of an utterance, or a sentence based on the overal quality of a person's sentiments. for a long time after her death, katy's ghost went on walks with me, and ran around the living room floor, playing tag. to avoid being romantic and silly, i'll leave the definition at "ghost: the memory of the dead". i think i was permanently changed by katy's death. i don't remember that clearly, but i think it had a lot to do with the creeping nihilism that's made itself known as cynicism and postmodernism. at any rate, i was very happy when katy was alive, and she sort of kept the family together. that's what katy, as mentioned on my index page here, is. her ashes are here, in my bedroom. |
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