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16 jul 06 "i heard that u got a donkey dick. Is it true?" funny. i wonder if it's an actual idiot, or someone pretending to be an idiot to see what i'll do. i bet the latter. i vaguely understand the reason men are often obsessed with this, but in my observation i note something perhaps non-obvious going on; something i like to call "locker room syndrome". most people know that men tend to be more concerned about penis size than women. it's also usually as important to men that they appear just as tough, manly, attractive, etc, to other men as they do to women, for the sake of competition for mates. it might even be more important to display for other men. so (you might know what i'm getting at), it's more important, for men, to be recognized for having a big dinger by other men than to be recognized for this by women. basically, whoever has the biggest dong dangling about in the locker room (or whipped out to pee in the woods) wins, but men don't care what women think, because it's aknowledged that they basically don't care. or even if they do, who cares? there are two types of flaccid penises: "show-ers" and "growers" (i wish there were non-folksy terms, because i feel like an idiot). flaccid show-ers are pretty close to the same length they are when erect, while growers increase dramatically in length. there's very little statistical variation in the length of erect penises, but flaccid lengths vary quite a bit. suffice to say, many men would rather have a 6" show-er that erects to 6", than a 3" grower that erects to 7", for the benefit of other men who are going to incidentally glimpse at it, and thereby judge their own masculinity to be inferior. men are more interested in showing their penises off to other men than they are in showing them off to women, with whom the penis is ostensibly designed to interface. locker room syndrome. i can't believe i even addressed this. most people, donkey-dicked or not, should simply be sterilzed for the benefit of the universe. i'm not excepting myself here. i have two computers up here. one is an old gateway, and one is an old mac. i own no computers less than maybe five years old. the gateway was donated to me by my stepsister and step-brother-in-law, and has since been gutted pretty severley. it's had its memory dimms replaced, a usb 2.0 card installed, and a new CD drive (scavenged from someone's trash) put in. i payed for the memory (256 MB), but it wasn't too much (maybe $20 a dimm). the usb card is old -- my mom had it in her machine, but didn't need it; she basicaly uses her PC as a dumb terminal to access her workplace via citrix. i got an old CRT samtron monitor on craigslist for $10 (the real cost was the drive to reston). the keyboard has been replaced with the most elite keyboard known to man: a DEC with european key layout, also purchased on craigslist, but for $5. i'm very proud of it. of course, the side panel remains detached and tossed away somewhere; i think i might have thrown it out. there's a "get well" card from my aunt taped to the side to keep the cooling fan from drying out my eyeballs, since the rear of the machine is facing out for better access to the "line in" port. mouse: $5, craigslist. speakers: included with the donation. operating system: pirated windows xp pro, that has now been nailed by "microsoft genuine advantage", the only consequence being an annoying balloon that pops up occassionally in the corner, reminding me that i'm an intellectual property criminal. this is a big reason i've moved to my mac, perhaps semi-permanently. anyway, i plan to eventually wipe out that windows. i got my imac back in 1999 for school, and it's almost a modern computer. actually, i can do everything on it that i need to except download pics from my digital camera, which for some reason my mac doesn't recognize. i've got dreamweaver, photoshop, IE 5.0 for mac, ms office, itunes, an ssh program, an ftp program ("fetch"), and a good text editor (bbedit). also: limewire (p2p), AIM, flash, director, and about a million other graphics and sound programs, some of them pretty serious. also, games (lemmings! bill the demon! stardust! nintendo emulator! atari emulator! others!). i even have a multi-language compiler/interpreter. my imac is only 350mHz (!), but it's got 512 MB of RAM, so it's quite fast (faster than my PC, actually). the big pain in the butt is the lack of usb 2.0 (imacs can't be "easily" upgraded), but other than that, it's basically a modern system, albeit with itty bitty speakers. but the inside of the machine basically functions as a subwoofer, so they sound surprisingly good. right now, theres a mastodonic (got that one from "south park") computer task going on in the backround, and mac os 9 is famous for screwing up multitasking, so i'm pretty much just waiting for a system crash as i type this. i imported those CDs from my mom's collection that i wanted (james taylor, tom petty, the band, more renaissance madrigal crap even though i'm getting really tired of it, and others), and this itunes (i found a version for os 9) has a hopelessly outdated library. so, i totally re-created it, and the thing is reading the id3 tags on every one of 2,000 or so mp3s on a 250 GB hard drive, over usb 1.0. time has slowed. when i get a new computer, it'll be a windows laptop, and then i'll install ubuntu linux on that frankestein machine i mentioned. the aforementioned external hard drive migrates from computer to computer, thereby negating the purpose of a "laptop". i guess the advantage of a laptop is that i can take it with me on my various and frequent business trips. no, but seriously, i've all but run out of desk space. u got a donkey dick lol |
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