Ask the Box

24 aug 06

"Cxu vi parolas Esperanton?"

no, i don't speak nerderanto, but i can apparently read that question, just because parts of it are latinate in form: "parolas" = obviously "to speak", "esperanton" = obviously "klingon", and "vi" = "possibly something like 'vous' ('you' in french)". i have no idea how to pronounce "cxu", however. i'd bet that the "r" is a "tongue touch r" (i'm sure there's a proper name for it), the kind you hear in japanese or spanish. the american "r" sound is actually pretty hard to pronounce -- it requires distortion of the tongue, and holding it in a particular place in mid-air; this is why japanese are always screwing it up, and confusing it with "l".

people have severe issues with languages. when i used to work at a gas station, a colleague once proudly told me that he was teaching himself german; his examples were "eins zwei drei vier funf!" and "ja!", pronouncing the "j" as an english "j", as in "jar". i think he did this to emphasize the fact that it was a german word, and not "ya", which isn't as exciting and cultured as "ja". when i told him that i spoke a bit of french, his brow darkened and he said "so now i suppose you're going to walk around here like a snob". i didn't know how to respond.

another: i do speak a little bit of french -- this is just a fact. when i was in paris, i was able to get along and communicate fine. this ability is present because i was born in quebec and heard french while growing up, and then took it in high school; no snobbery, i assure you. i don't claim to speak it better than i do ("mes grammaire et vocabulaire sont terrible").

at some get-together, someone asked me if i spoke french (for some reason), and before i could answer, an acquaintance snidely blurted out "matt thinks he can speak french". clearly, there lurked issues with language as some kind of badge of class, along with the desire to rip this badge from the lapelles of others. culture-coveting -- a need to "fake it 'till you make it", and appear better than other people (and better than one truly sees one's self) by accumulating these sorts of props (styles of speech, taste in food, paintings around the house, knowledge of other languages, etc) that imply intelligence, wealth, breeding, and taste. or, more simply put, being a "poser" -- someone who takes on identities or parts of identities in order to forcibly "create themselves" in some way that appeals to them. an arrogant poser, basically. there are lots of these people around -- i'm sure you can think of one if you try.

another: i have noted on several occasions that native francophones, if you try to speak french to them, will often refuse, instead insisting that the conversation be carried in english. "i most certainly speak english better than you speak french" is the implication. while this may very well be true, they communicate this in the manner of a snobby little shit. i even had once french-canadian tell me "i don't like to speak french with people who speak english as their first language". again, language issues. the french attitude is "you are not good enough to attempt our marbled language".

another: if you try out the bit of spanish that you've picked up by living in montgomery county, hispanics will only look at you nervously. i had one snap at me "why you want to learn spanish!?" it was if spanish is some kind of secret code, and learning it undermines and threatens the native speaker. i guess this is obvious -- language is a code, and if an outsider learns it, he can see into your culture, which may be the only thing you have to garner a sense of tribalism, which is essential for the fearful in the face of a foreign land. the hispanic attitude is "don't try to break our code! run away!"

another: snickering and rolling the eyes as one tries to pronounce a language. sometimes i think this is some sort of revenge for all of the times the snickerer has been made fun of himself for sounding like "convenience store apu" from "the simpsons".

knowledge of more than one language is considered a universal trophy of intelligence and worldliness, one that is defended and coveted to the death. again, i do not speak a word of esperanto, and even if i can read a little bit, i won't claim to, only to avoid being derided by people with issues of class and/or intelligence.

actually, that's a nice thing about esperanto -- since it's made-up (essentially cultureless) and unabashedly geeky (geeks are a relatively tolerant bunch), it doesn't have as many issues of snobbery attached.