Ask the Box

03 sep 06

"Are you feeling fat and sassy today?"

not particularly, today.

we see that this visitor came from altbit.org, which linked to me not too long ago. i never returned the favor, until just now. altbit.org is a blog, authored by this dude. yes, i have internet friends. yes, i have passed the point of no return. i am fully aware of this.

back to our visitor. we also see that this guy (or gal, but probably not) hails from atlanta, and has some recurring interest in "ask the box". who can blame him?

we also see that he has geeky inclinations (using mac os x, without the default web browser), which is to be expected, considering he's likely to be an acquaintance of c.h., and c.h. enjoys no non-geeky acquaintances ( think it doesn't mind propagating its name all over the web, but i'll leave that decision up to it).

i can make no guesses at the visitor's identity, but you're welcome to flood his IP address with massive DoS attacks. or, i can call cox communications in atlanta, social-engineer a street address, and then drive down to throw a cinder block followed by a molotov cocktail through his bedroom window at night. at "ask the box", we love our visitors :)

haha, wait a sec -- look at the hostname: ip70-178-178-249.ks.ks.cox.net. note the `ks`. i googled around a bit, and ks.cox.net refers to cox in kansas city, missouri. furthermore, the geolocation used by my webstats has been shown to produce some questionable results. it seems this visitor was c.h. (or one of his local friends). also, i think it likes to use a mac. in that case, i retract what i said about the molotov cocktail and DoS. well, c.h. can confirm or deny it, next time i talk to it. i have no idea, really. internet anonymity: you can sometimes guess, but you never know, unless it's rahul gor.

"ask the box" is going to end up as #1 for search term "rahul gor" (it's currently #5). rahul gor. rahul d. gor. rahul dilipkumar gor. dr. rahul d. gor. rahul gor, MD. a gor named rahul. raoul gore.

the first thing "fat and sassy" brought to mind was the character of "bobby hill", from the tv show "king of the hill". he is fat 'n' sassy, and i think this might have been mentioned on an episode. i googled around a bit, and the meaning of "fat and sassy" seems to be "fat and proud of it, or at least not ashamed of it". "sassy" describes someone with a "smart mouth", especially a little kid; ie, "don't sass back". so, there's the implication of "yeah, i'm admittedly fat, but screw your standard, you, and your derision".

i am indeed fat and sassy, but the parts of the whole are unrelated. i'm sassy, certainly, but i'm not especially proud of or smug about my over-the-limit BMI; i'd rather it weren't there. however, i'd also rather eat 7-11 "big bite" hot dogs, so, there it is.

that's "7-11" as in "the convenience store called 'seven-eleven'", not "between 7 and 11 hot dogs', even though this too might be a possibility.

am i feeling sassy? i always feel sassy, and especially so when i'm writing for "ask the box" -- it's my and my writing's primary trait. i'm not sure, exactly, how one "feels fat", although i've heard it's something women can do (anything a boy can do, a girl can do better).

i suppose someone means, when she thinks or says "i'm feeling fat", that her perception of the extent to which her BMI exceeds kate moss's has been particularly tuned, by general self-hatred or by seeing herself in a bikini. i have never donned a bikini, so feeling fat is not a problem for me.