A Blog-like Entity

18 oct 06

a bunch of questions

can you figure out how heavy the new element 118 is in a Lbs to Lbs comparison to other elements?

yes.

Describe the last time you cried tears of joy?

there was no last time.

What kind of shoes do you wear?

i own five pairs of shoes, i think.

the first are a pair of leather sandals, purchased at some yuppie store in the mall for quite a lot of money, such that i'm ashamed to reprint what i think that amount might have been.

when i came home from college, i had unlimited money in the form of leftover student loans, and i decided that it was important to have "good shoes", because i was a fucking idiot. i bought three pairs: some timberland boots, some adidas sneakers, and those leather sandals. the timberlands crushed my two big toes so badly that the toenails fell off, and have only now grown back to a totally normal state (two years later). the adidas sneakers' toe-areas were wrapped in rubber, and so couldn't expand to fit my deformed feet.

so, i tossed the timbs and adidas, and was left with the sandals. the only problem with these sandals, of course, as is the case with any leather sandals, is that they smell really bad after wearing them for more than an hour or so. if i wear them for a whole day of working, then a wad of filthy rubbed-off skin, dirt, and/or whatever that black stuff is, accumulates between the sole of my sandal and the bottom of my foot, so massive that it's uncomfortable. then, i have to chisel it off (it's really disgustingly huge -- like 1.5" x 1" x .5"), and leave it in someone's driveway. so maybe it's in the best interest of society that i was made to wear my velcro sneakers by my boss (who also forbade my athletic shorts and full beard), which are great, although perhaps not quite as pleasant to wear (for me).

when i was in california, i was infected with Free Spirit, and came to the therapeutic realization that i had never owned a pair of velcro sneakers, while all of the other kids had, back in 1980s canada. so, i got a $10 pair at a wal mart in concord, CA, and re-claimed my lost childhood.

i also have a pair of bizarre quasi-hiking boot things (also ~$10, wal mart), that are very comfortable -- more so than the velcro sneakers. however, the ease of fastening the sneakers supercedes the comfort of the boot-things.

then there are the work boots(~$10, wal mart), that i got for either my ill-conceived UPS job or my ill-conceived "tree care" job. they're also very comfortable, not to mention useful (for something). finally, my dress shoes, which i've had for 500 years, and have no idea where i got them or what they cost; possibly a decent amount. i might have only had them for a few years, but every pair of dress shoes i've ever owned blends into the previous and next, such that for conceptual purposes i've owned the same pair of dress shoes since i was 7. "robert, put on your dress shoes!" "ok".

my manager has captured a homeless person, and has trained him to distribute restaurant fliers for something like $10 an outing. he's insane, and hangs around the restaurant all day looking disheveled and talking to himself, waiting for the free meal that's part of his payment. i can't imagine the marketing benefits of his flier-distribution outweigh the costs of scaring away the customers.

i drove him to the neighborhood where he was to put fliers under doors, and he asked me first for four dollars, and then for four quarters. i gave him something like 70 cents that was sitting in my drink tray. but it felt odd to me that a fellow employee was asking me for spare change, even though i suppose i should be used to it.

some kitchen help (who has since quit) once borrowed $30 to buy a pair of stolen boots (i believe they were timberlands, actually), which had been carried in by a weird girl in a head-wrap at around 10 at night -- i remember i gave her a free cup of cranberry juice, and was then chastised for it, because "what if the boss walked in right now?" so, i payed for it, and decided that i bought it for her. but the person on the register (i think it was the same guy who bought the stolen timbs) just pocketed the money. the place i work is a bit of a ghetto hellhole, to be honest about it.

sometimes i find myself craving white middle class america, even though i really detest it more than i do the other options. driving a homeless colleague around and having him ask you for spare change is preferable to a "survivor" season premiere party on a project manager's big screen TV. i just have to say these words to myself: "web solutions". then, i'm glad to be working in a place where every time you pick up something that's been lying there for a while, about a hundred roaches scurry from underneath it. web solutions. web solutions.

i just can't believe that this is all there is to life. remember what jack nicholson said? "maybe this is as good as it gets". what i want to do is somehow totally transcend reality, and just leave this plane of physical existence. i think it might be time to go eat a pound of LSD or something. they even have a word for this feeling -- it's some french word. the feeling is a restless sense of being unfulfilled -- not unhappy, not bored, just the sense that there is something more just around the corner, barely out of reach, but not knowing what that something might be, or how to get to it. restless angst, i guess. dissatisfaction, without a source. i know there's some french word for this! submit it at the bottom of the page. you ho.