8:21am
This is a blog entry.
7:28pm
I'm about to be getting my food money. Maybe I should be using the surplus to pay my student loan payments, but I'd rather keep the cash myself.
11:26pm
I went to giant and bought some more odwalla shakes. They're expensive, but I like them. Isn't that always how it is. I wonder what the repercussions are of not paying your student loan? I wonder what happens to you?
9:33am
Really, I think I might be doomed. Ana told me that I just haven't found my niche yet, which is a nice way to look at it. I guess some people never find their niche...
This is going to be a short week of blog entries to be added to the archive. After my long illness, I find myself bereft of the ability or desire to tell it like it is, and present my theses on everything. Maybe this is a good thing. However, it leaves me with little to do, especially since the bikable earth is covered in 6-12 inches of snow. I think I'll go for a walk today.
I wonder where john is.
James, gorby, serena, possibly josh and possibly tom will all be back for the holidays. So that's something to look forward to. Maybe my current state is partially attributable to holiday depression. I'm really quite hesitant to mention the word 'depression' out loud, because I fear the medical community and its tendency to cram prozac down one's throat upon hearing those words. I don't think I like this blog anymore.
But it's good at least to keep my typing chops up. The waxy lips of quentin, jr., boozily kissed camile. Hazy queries vexed jfk with elements of psycho-gab. The quick brown fox jumped over the lazy dog. The fox jumped over the quick, lazy, brown dog. Truly, the existential vacuum nibbles at my feet.
Actually, that sentence I wrote about prozac being shoved down one's throat by the medical community might open the gates for another rant, if I can muster the energy. Let's give it a shot. It'll be a short one.
The primary goal of the medical community is not to treat you, the patient, but rather to protect society. Doctors quarantine you if you're covered with germs, and psychiatrists ask 'are you having any thoughts about harming others?' (scribble scribble write write write). Doctors, like police officers, professors, etc, represent a unique class of individuals in the american social structure: the enforcers. They're the ones who keep the worker bees in line, who present the ideas and propaganda of the ruling elite for us have-nots to swallow.
Wow, that was short. I guess what always annoys me is that doctors try to tell you that they're on your side, while in fact they're out maintaining the status quo just like everyone else. Even laws -- laws aren't there to protect you, they're there to protect everyone else. Haha. For example, take intersections. Crossing the street at an intersection is, in fact, more dangerous than crossing it in the middle of the road. If you cross in the middle, all you have to do is be aware of two directions of attack. But in an intersection, everything is coming from every which way, and is very chaotic.
However, if everyone crossed the street where s/he wanted to, the situation would in fact be more chaotic. But, that'll never happen -- the situation will always exist where most people cross at the intersection, and as a result, the few who jaywalk will actually be at a safety advantage. Nevermind, this is stupid.
I guess the central point was that laws are set up to protect the largest number of people possible, and aren't necessarily tailored to each individual. So, the non-conformist gets inadequate protection. In any kind of hierarchy, it's easier to deal with a large number of people if they're all doing the same thing. So, conformity is not only encouraged by businesses, but by government too.
Ok, that's it -- no more of these. I'm never blogging again.
11:29am
I don't like the snow anymore, now that my interests have shifted from wanting school to close and going sledding to making short car trips to local stores and going for bike rides. I'm trying to analyze that magic moment when I became unemployable by society. Or, at least relegated to menial labor. Why did this happen? How did this happen? When did this happen? I think it was really gradual. But I don't think anyone is ever going to hire me for any job with social status beyond mcdonald's cashier. Why do I have to be a mcdonalds cashier? What is it about me? It's one of the unanswerable questions.
He who does not work shall not eat. He who does not work loses weight.
Not much to do but sit around and hope for nuclear war.
Mon 8 dec 2003
10:55am
I think I might be officially tired of blogging, and may go on hiatus for an undetermined while. I hear that my uncle norm has a blog, which is interesting to think about. Marlene mentioned something about an entry concerning his 'views on capital punishment.' I'm currently trying to get the link out of her. I'd like a job, I think. Speaking of menial jobs, I don't know what happened to john; he just up and disappeared. Maybe he ran off somewhere.
So, now things are just about back to normal, with me in good health and sitting at my perch here at the computer desk once more, wasting the day away. What kind of job should I look for? Looking for a job is really just about the most depressing thing there is in the world, and I'm sorely tempted to say 'fuck it.' maybe if I learn some more computer-related things I can actually get a computer-related job. That'd be fun -- I could do pretty much what I do now, and get paid for it. Wouldn't that be something? I guess in a sense I'm at an advantage, since I voluntarily spend my waking hours in the manner most people feel they are forced to spend them.
Do people take weekend seminars on how to be unoriginal and ugly? It's high time for another mass-extinction. Vote bush in 2004!
4:05pm
After a four hour nap, I discover that 0 people have sent me emails. The postmodern excitement continues in gaithersburg.